How do you speak to your friends and those you love? Most likely, you use words that support them, encourage them, build their confidence and pick them up when they are down.

How do you speak to yourself? Are you as kind and compassionate to yourself as you are to everyone else? It can become habitual to have an inner voice that tells you not to be so stupid; that you are not good enough, smart enough, good looking enough, and so on. The chances are, you wouldn’t tolerate someone judging you or unfairly criticising you, so why do you let your own mind treat you like this?

Begin to recognise the disparity between how you behave toward others and how you behave toward yourself. Become aware of your negative self-talk, and the next time you catch yourself criticising yourself harshly, reflect on the impact those words would have if you directed them at someone else. Over time, and with conscious effort, you will gain insights into the situations and events in your life that are likely to trigger your negative self-talk. Take on your inner critic, challenge it. As your awareness increases, catch those thoughts. Ask yourself, “Is this really true?”; “Is this way of judging or criticising myself, serving my life?”  

On an average day we have between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts, and here’s the most interesting part – about 70% of these thoughts are negative. Pay attention and you will see the same negative self-talk patterns arising again and again. They are simply thoughts you have replayed so often your subconscious mind accepts them as true, eating away your self-belief and confidence.

Begin thinking about yourself in a different way. Accept you will have difficult days, or days when nothing you do goes according to plan. Instead of beating yourself up, create a loving and compassionate inner voice that acknowledges you are doing your best. They say love is the best medicine. Treat yourself lovingly with kindness and compassion, .and over time your subconscious will accept this new voice as truth.